Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is an incredible honor and responsibility. The groom has personally selected you to be his primary go-to person for all aspects of the wedding, including the actual wedding day. He will depend on you as his support system and you’ll need to be prepared for anything. Live up to the title – here’s how to be a phenomenal best man.
The Bachelor Party
The bachelor party is the quintessential last hurrah for all soon-to-be married men. It is portrayed in the media as a rowdy party and an opportunity for the groomsmen and groom to get into some debaucherous fun. Regardless of how much you and the groom like to indulge in hedonistic activities, it is your responsibility to plan and organize the event and ensure it’s a memorable and fun guys’ night out. Ask him what kind of bachelor party he has in mind and do your best to keep it to his limits. For example, don’t surprise him with strippers if he explicitly says he doesn’t want any. The best way to plan a bachelor party is to choose a primary activity and then start planning the details around that, like the date, location, guest list, travel and accommodations. Be sure to consider the other guests’ budgets and travel distances when planning the event.
The best man is in charge of making sure all the groomsmen get fitted for a suit or tuxedo and that everyone has the proper clothing, shoes, cufflinks and any other accessories. If anyone is renting, or has to have something tailored, you are also responsible for either picking up all the items or making sure that each person has their suit. If there is travel involved for the wedding, you’ll also have to make sure everyone has everything before departing for the airport. On the wedding day, you’re in charge of distributing the boutonnieres and helping out with getting the men dressed correctly. Stay organized by keeping a checklist of items that each man needs and send out email or text reminders as necessary. It’s your job to make sure nothing is missing on the big day and to keep the other men in line.
Serve As Ring Bearer
Ring bearers are often young boys whose job is to walk down the aisle and look cute for the audience. You, the best man, are the one that is actually in charge of holding onto the wedding rings. This is a security measure taken in case the child attendant goes rogue and somehow loses the rings that are on the pillow. The exchanging of the rings is one of the most important parts of the ceremony and the bride and groom are depending on you to have the rings safe and ready. Keep the rings in a safe place in an easily accessible compartment so that you can provide the rings seamlessly at the appropriate moment in the ceremony.
Give A Toast
You are also responsible for giving a toast at the reception that is not only short and sweet, but the perfect balance of funny and witty. You’ll need to be engaging and family-friendly, which is not always easy to do. When in doubt, shy away from stories that you may think are funny but are potentially inappropriate. Express your love and happiness for the couple, speak positively about both the bride and groom and thank all the guests for attending.
Support Your Friend
In addition to the typical responsibilities we’ve outlined above, the best man is also responsible for a few other unofficial duties that all involve supporting the groom as best as he can. You are required to attend the rehearsal dinner, wedding rehearsal, escort the maid of honor down the aisle and sign the marriage certificate. Aside from these duties, you are also expected to entertain family members and guests, make sure all the vendors are taken care of and paid, resolve any issues quickly, attend to the bride and groom’s needs and requests and take care of minor details like getting the newlyweds to the hotel and sending inebriated guests home in taxis. It would also be a good idea to have a list of emergency phone numbers, vendor contact information and some extra cash in case of unexpected incidents.
Although there are many expectations of you as a best man, the most important thing you are in charge of is supporting your friend and catering to his needs as best as possible. This is the one of the happiest and most important days of his life and the events leading up to it are an integral part of the entire journey. Your role as best man is to alleviate some of the pressure of wedding planning and help the entire process go smoothly.