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He’s popped the question and you’ve said yes.
And in turn turned you’ve popped the questions to your girlfriends “Will You Be My Bridesmaid?” and they’ve said yes.
But that’s by no means the end of the story. If your girlfriends are supportive enough to say that yes, they’ll be your bridesmaid, then you’ve got to keep up your end of the bargain and make sure that the experience is enjoyable for them – and not a complete nightmare.
Don’t go into bridezilla mode and become totally obsessed with yourself and your wedding day. You will have a life after your big day and you’ll want your girlfriends around you then as well as now. So treat them with consideration, think about their likes and dislikes and be thoughtful. Here’s a few matters to be contemplating to make the journey happier for everyone concerned – they’re based on some classic mistakes brides have made in the past and mistakes that you’ll want to avoid.
1. Don’t overdo the DIY.
Okay, so you may love crafting and want to make your own save the date cards, menu cards, place cards, floral table centres, wedding cake …. Whatever. But not everybody LOVES crafting and not everybody is good at it. So don’t plan on having some marathon weekend or evening crafting sessions and demand that your bridesmaids come to every one. They have a life and may not want to give up endless afternoons and evenings to your wedding plans. If they do consent to help, then you should probably make it a one-off session and limit the time you spend crafting. Supply delicious snacks, drinks (some wine wouldn’t hurt either) and plan on making something specific, rather than an endless range of items.
2. Don’t make your bridesmaids wear a dress that really doesn’t suit them
Let them be involved to an extent with your choice. If one of your maids is really self conscious about her legs, she’s not going to be delighted if you make her wear a skirt that hovers somewhere mid-thigh. And if she’s got a generous bosom, she may not want to wear a strapless dress (and pulling it up all the time isn’t a good look either). Far better to give your girls a choice of bridesmaid frocks and let them choose. You can co-ordinate by giving them all the same colour to wear or a variation on the same colour for an ombre effect.
The same applies to hairstyles. Let your maids wear a style that suits them rather than one you dictate. And don’t even think about suggesting that they get a hair cut or colour that you want them to have!
3. Dress your maids appropriately to the season and the venue in which you are marrying
So if you’re getting married on a beach somewhere tropical, don’t ask them to wear tight, fitted and formal frocks which will feel far too uncomfortable and hot. And if you’re marrying in the dead of winter and it’s freezing, don’t let them shiver with bare shoulders and bare legs outside the venue – think about winter cosiness with snuggly pashminas, Ugg boots (or similar) – and a longer frock.
4. Remember that sometimes your best friend doesn’t always make the best chief bridesmaid
It’s a big commitment and if she has young children, lives abroad, hates public speaking or has or a really full-on job that means she has to travel and work long hours, then she might not be the best choice (and she might be dreading being asked). Talk to her about it and maybe agree to ask somebody else. Don’t be offended if she declines – she’ll actually be doing you a favour in the long run.
It’s really all about treating your girls the way you would want to be treated if you were a bridesmaid and a lot of that is communication. Rather than just dictating what’s going to happen, ask your girls if there’s anything they really don’t enjoy wearing. Any colours they avoid. What they feel their good points are and the not so good.
Stick to these simple guidelines and you’ll keep your girls happier in the build up to your big day and on the day itself – you’ll also have some friends for life and happy smiling faces in your wedding photographs!
Thank you to WedBits for this guest blog post!